Let’s flip our approach to ethics.
Instead of a top down, rules bound approach let’s make it personal. Instead of codes of conduct, let’s talk about integrity, trust and personal responsibility.
We can change the world by changing our story.
Society is made up of individuals. Society works best when we play nice. And we play nice, not because of the laws but because we are guided by stories that tell us how we should act. It starts when we are young, but we continue to build the narrative our whole life.
When we share a common background, we share a common story. We can live in relative harmony where the outliers are few and are either ignored or sanctioned – not by written rules but by society’s response. We get the behaviours we reward.
These are the stories of previous generations.
Aesop’s Fables
The Ant and the Grasshopper
While the grasshopper played his fiddle and danced all summer, the industrious ant worked hard storing food. We learn the benefits of hardworking and planning. The ant worked for the good of the community while the grasshopper cared only for his personal pleasure.
The Boy Who Cried Wolf
After causing drama by warning of non-existent wolves, the boy is ignored when a wolf finally threatens the herd. We see how the truth is important and how it builds trust.
The Fox and the Sour Grapes
When the delicious-looking grapes were out of reach, the fox concluded they were probably sour. While it is a story about managing our own emotions there is another message. And that is that we can’t have everything we desire.
The Tortoise and the Hare
I think we all know this – slow and steady wins the race. There is a reward for taking your time, putting one foot in front of the other, and moving forward.
The Lion and The Mouse
In this story, the lion spares the life of the mouse and is later rewarded when the mouse helps the lion. The lesson is that we are all equal, and all deserving of kindness. As well, there is a lesson that good deeds are rewarded.
The Bear and The Bees
In this less-known fable, a lone bear is stung by a bee who was threatened by the bear’s presence. The enraged bear then retaliates by trying to destroy the hive. As a result, the swarm emerges and repeatedly stings the bear. The moral as intended; it is wiser to endure a single injury without retaliation than to provoke further harm through anger. It is also a story of escalation risk.
Most of these stories are forgotten or dismissed.
Modern Fables
What stories are we building now?
If everyone else is in it for themselves, why should I work hard for the community? The grasshopper is having more fun. Everyone else is getting some, so why aren’t I? Grasshoppers only live 12 months while some ants live decades. Life is short; we should enjoy it while it lasts.
Everyone lies. Creative ads are better than factual ones. Spin the truth until it tastes better. Political leaders exaggerate or fabricate stories to instill fear. Drama and excitement are better than honesty and boredom. Better to cry wolf and obtain attention than to languish in the background.
The media tells us we can have everything we want. And if we haven’t achieved our fondest dreams, it is our own fault. We should buy a lottery ticket or this product. We should read this book or take this course. Dream big and you can have it all. No need for sour grapes – it is all within reach.
And we now know, through the stories we tell, that slow and steady is not the way to go. We deserve instant gratification. We should be decisive rather than thoughtful. The good guy finishes last. We should be quick and nimble – like the hare.
Kindness is not its own reward. Kindness is only beneficial if it can be used for self-promotion. Post your act of kindness on social media and get a million likes. Announce your corporate generosity and improve your share value. Polish your halo for public approval. It is an intensely competitive world – look out for number one. Eat the mouse when you have the chance.
One common social media fable is that there is a reward for getting even. This is also popularized in movies and songs. Various “reality” TV shows pit individuals against each other. There are songs glamorizing keying your ex-lover’s car. Social media is rife with stories of people who get even with their boss or who teach rude wait staff a lesson. John Wick is a modern fable.
But are these the lessons we want to perpetuate?
We can build new stories.
We are all good people. In the real world, no one sees themselves as evil. We are forced to justify our behavior when we act in a way that we would otherwise be ashamed of.
Many of our current stories are ones of justification.
If we believe that it is always better to do the right thing maybe we can start with a common understanding of what we mean when we say something is “wrong”.
What Is Wrong?
Something is wrong if it is against the law, or formal rules or policies. That seems simple and straightforward. Of course, we usually only want more rules and laws that affect other people.
Something is wrong if it is a departure from the truth. Lies are squishy – hard to define. We can define the truth as being complete, accurate, and relevant. Of course, we can all think of situations where a departure from the truth can be seen as kindness.
Sometimes we simply, collectively, know it is wrong. Societal wrongs are widely agreed on, but only in our place and time. Today, this is increasingly difficult as we become a more diverse, multi-generational society. Today we need to ask, who says, and why is this wrong?
Finding the commonality is difficult.
Aesop created fables that guided the thinking for many generations. Interestingly, many of those stories are mirrored in other cultures as well, illustrating an almost universal agreement on the importance of these lessons.
If these stories no longer resonate, we can create new stories.
Stories find root in young minds. Schools could adopt a framework for personal decisions. One that includes considering right and wrong. But more importantly, one that helps choose between conflicting courses of action none of which is wrong. Rather than creating more academic policies on cheating, bullying and unacceptable behaviour – begin by telling stories.
The lifeboat is sinking. If one person is thrown overboard the remaining passengers will survive. This is a classic story used to illustrate ethical thinking. A fun thought exercise. But it might be better to talk about any of the dozens of ethical issues facing students each day. How could you react to being bullied? How could you react if someone else is being bullied? What do you do if the exam answers are being circulated? What do you say when you are late to class?
There are no right answers. The story is the lesson.
And it is never too late to start being mindful of ethical issues. Business knows that happy employees are an asset. And everyone agrees that companies should behave ethically. The solution is not in more rules and regulations. Create a conversation. Create safe, non-judgmental spaces to talk openly about tough issues. Use a common framework and language to guide thinking.
Ethics cannot be imposed. Ethics should not be a process of compliance.
We are all good people, but we need the right stories to frame our thoughts.
For more information on how you can flip your approach to ethics visit: www.bzmind.ca.
Michelle’s insights are relevant for business leaders, managers, educators, and anyone interested in providing a framework for ethical considerations. Her thought-provoking ideas and engaging delivery make her a compelling voice in the ongoing conversation.
About the Author:
Michelle Causton, a Fellow of the Chartered Professional Accountants (CPA) with an MBA from Laurentian University, is a seasoned public speaker and educator with a rich background in accounting and professional development. As president of CGA Ontario, she has played a key role in shaping the organization’s strategic direction.
Transitioning from public accounting to academia, Michelle has influenced countless students as a university and college professor, earning awards for excellence in teaching and mentorship. Her passion lies in promoting ethical leadership and effective communication, which she shares through speeches, writings, and online content.
As a member of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers, Michelle continues to captivate and inspire audiences globally. She is also dedicated to community service through volunteering and mentoring, always striving to help others reach their full potential. Michelle’s blend of experience, humor, and warmth makes her a dynamic and influential figure in her field.
For more insightful content from MICHELLE CAUSTON, visit https://www.bzmind.ca/, https://www.learn.bzmind.ca/ and https://bzmind.wordpress.com/, connect with her on LinkedIn, or catch her show BZMind on Spotify!
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