Breaking news: What Kim Jong-Il is REALLY thinking.

The father of the North Korean people, Kim Jong-Il, announced his first nuclear test today, declaring (and I quote) that "the nuclear test was conducted with indigenous wisdom and technology, 100 percent." 

Kim Jong-Il is not so different from Dr. Evil. They both wear baggy gray jumpsuits, like to pose in front of the camera, and are more self-important than they are recognized. (According to North Korea’s fantastically propaganda-stic only official news source to the outside world, Kim regularly gets floral baskets sent and biographies published by world leaders in every country, from Laos to Syria.)

Did you know Kim Jong-Il has a Live Journal account? It turns out he has regular conversations with Bush, Cheney, Hu Jintao, and Saddam on AIM. If you want to add any of them to your buddy list, their screen names are License2KimJongIll, Bush43, BreakTheseCheneysOfLove, Hu’s-on-first, and Saddam keeps changing his, but last time I checked it was WeaponsOfAssDestruction.

For a more serious analysis by one North Korea expert, check out this interview I did when I was an intern at Mother Jones Magazine.