My Below-the-Belt Prank Tutorial

Doritosjapansma3
I can’t emphasize how much significance below-the-belt jokes play in
Japanese humor. In America, they are often perceived as unnecessarily
vulgar, or as a cheap way to spice up an otherwise stale joke. Not in
Japan. Shimoneta are an integral part of the culture, without which the country will probably be overrun by robots.

Another critical element of interpersonal relationships in Japan is
the below-the-belt PRANK. (No, not pantsing. That’s way too simple and
benign.) Today, let me introduce you to two of the most popular
variations, one of which is displayed in the Doritos bag on your right.

1. The Kancho. Nobody survives elementary school in Japan
(even if you’re white) without receiving a few kanchos on the way. To
kancho, simply put both hands together as if in prayer, and fold over
all fingers except your two index fingers. Keep the index fingers
straight and solid, for these are your kancho weapons. Next, find a
target. Any butthole will do, but I suggest going for those that are
clothed yet easy to find. Approach the butthole slowly. Then, when the
owner has his head turned, swiftly jab your adjoined index fingers up
the butthole and say "kancho!" (We did this regularly to people going
up the train station steps on the way home from school.)

2. The Denki Amma. A commonly used wrestling move among
Japanese schoolboys, the denki amma gives your opponent an ambiguous
blend of pleasure and pain. One boy grabs the legs of the other, lifts
his right foot, strategically places it on the other dude’s shaft, and
then launches a series of rapid foot taps. Slightly painful, enormously
submissive, and awkwardly erotic, the denki amma symbolizes the kind of
male bonding that women and foreigners most likely will never fully
understand.

Now that you know about these two great new ways to bond with friends, why not go out and try them on someone?

(Reprinted from the now-defunct Table of Malcontents–Wired blog.)

6 thoughts on “My Below-the-Belt Prank Tutorial

  1. I can’t believe you brought these up. The last thing Japan needs to export is Kancho. I guess every country has it’s “friendly childhood torture games”, but Kancho is truly king.
    🙂

  2. Ohh! I hate the kancho; I was an English teacher in Japan not long ago and besides being trampled and climbed on like a jungle gym by the kids, I always had make sure there’s clear space between the wall and my ass, lest there be a small boy with with wandering fingers. The worst is their mum’s are laughing their asses off when it happens!
    I wish I’d known about the denki amma though… ohh sweet revenge….

  3. Yea Lisa, the “Kancho” is called a “dong-zip” in South Korea. In North Korea, it would probably get one shot.
    I only wonder if this came to Korea through Japanese cartoons (?).