How the otakus are planning to kick the otaku-muggers’ asses.

A couple months ago, I blogged about the otaku attacks in Akihabara and hinted at the upcoming otaku revolution, which may entail the re-creation of Marioworld. I got my first clue as to how they might execute it this morning.

Here’s what I suspect they’re thinking:

1. The otakus buy a box of 12 Marioworld bricks for 4,560 yen. Slightly pricey, but worth the investment.
2. They open each box to find dotgraphic character keychains inside. These are the indispensable warriors who will fight the battle for geek dignity and respect.
3. They put 100-yen coins inside the boxes, which is actually a piggy bank.
4. The otaku-muggers come to Akihabara, looking for rich geeks with Zelda pocket cash to jump. But they get distracted by the question marks on the Mario bricks, which are floating inconspicuously in front of the rows of electronics stores. Curious. the otaku-muggers upper-cut the floating brick and out comes a 100 yen coin! The greedy muggers start going after all the boxes, but some of
them are harder to reach. So they have to bounce of walls and stuff.
5. While the otaku-muggers are bouncing off walls, Dotgraphic Mario will chuck a Dotgraphic  Turtle Shell at them. The

otaku-muggers will get hit by Turtle Shell and die instantly.

I’d like to be able to tell you that this came straight from an exclusive interview with the Otaku Revolutionary Forces, but it didn’t. I’m just speculating, but there’s a high possibility that I may be exactly right.

Comments are closed.