Who would YOU vote for?

In 8 days, Japan will be voting for a new prime minister, so I asked each of the 3 LDP candidates to write a brief Profile for my blog. Thanks guys!

Hi. I’m Taro Aso, the foreign minister. I know it looks like I have an invisible fishhook caught on my upper right lip, but I actually don’t. That’s just my natural charm–and the whole world will know it when I become prime minister. I’m in my mid-60s, and I would like to address the problem of the aging population and declining birth rate, like, right now, so I can get my pension when I retire.

I’m Sadakazu Tanigaki. Finance minister. As you can see, I’m an ordinary nice-looking Japanese man with balding side spots. But don’t worry, I read the book on what to do when your girlfriend finds out you’re wearing a toupee. That’s right, you pray. I’m also praying that people will vote for me and my grand idea to double the consumption tax to 10%.

Do I have to write this Profile thing? Everyone knows me. I’m the chief cabinet secretary. Koizumi loves me and gave me the official endorsement as his successor this weekend. Yay! I also plan to change the constitution so Japan can stop saying all that warm fuzzy shit about being a peace-loving nation. We need to crack the whip on China and North Korea instead of pacing in uber-diplomatic loops. And I must say, no longer having the threat of a *gasp* empress is as refreshing as a clear autumn sky!

*Disclaimer: The facts introduced in this post are not necessarily true. Tanigaki may not have read the book on toupees, for example, and Aso may actually have an invisible fishhook caught in his lip.

5 thoughts on “Who would YOU vote for?

  1. very clever….i first thought “did lisa email them in japanese?”…but the fishhook gave you away…